Alignment and Power

It was my holud; one of the five events of the Bengali wedding.

I was in a bright yellow saree, red lipstick and flowers. I was on top of the world. Other than marrying the love of my life, I was surrounded by friends and family — many of whom were traveling from the other end of the country and the planet. My world collided into the most beautiful spectacle of colors, smiles, laughter and music.

I felt something that I did not expect to feel. I felt a palpable and steady wave of power. As though I was influencing in a subtle manner, every element of my surrounding each moment. I was dialed into this feeling and letting it flow through me in a way that was energizing and a little surreal. This feeling connected me with my surrounding in a powerful and unusual way and it was as though I could feel the happiness and playfulness along with the boredom and discomfort that wedding guests tend to sway between.

This was the first time in my life that I was in full alignment with my surroundings and its people. You see — I am one of those difficult millennial women who people do not know how to respond to. I have always been defiant of authority and traditions, which made it tricky to navigate the conservative cultures of Bangladesh. I have been a tiny brown woman walking in confidently to advise much older white men and women about business operations very early in my career in the States. I keep pushing through several layers of doubt, rigidity, bias and discomfort until I get what I want and I am able to persevere in this manner because ultimately I believe what I am driving towards is at the highest service of all those involved. And eventually people see it and they give in and begin to trust — if not what I am moving towards at least in who I am.

This setting, however, was different. Everyone, at all levels of their being, agreed that I was in the right place. I was a woman getting married (to a man) in her home country surrounded by all the people who love her. I did not need to convince anyone this was the right thing and they did not need to convince me. This was my party and I was having it on my terms and those who accepted those terms were able to join and co-create an incredibly energizing event. Each of us have power and when we align with an intent — that power is able to flow more freely and connect with others — and when that happens, few feelings compare to it.

This experience strengthened my resolve to look for settings where there is the least friction and opposition. Sometimes when doing something that is truly new it can feel like this is impossible, but even for the most obscure thoughts and initiatives — with a little bit of searching I am always able to find a small tribe and a small space that just “get it”. Everything will not always be perfect — just like in this holud where I had disappointed guests because I was marrying man who was not Muslim, or the event was too raucous, the food was not the typical wedding food and so on. However these waned in comparison to the general sentiment that was in alignment and therefore led to an energizing outcome.

I want to encourage all of us to get better at finding your people and your party — its so much more nourishing than being around those that continue to doubt and deny your innate power.